This Love
by luxintennebris
Summary: A series of somewhat related/canon one-shots based on the Taylor Swift song. "This love left a permanent mark, this love is glowing in the dark."
1. High tide came and brought you in

**Clear blue water/**

The first thing you noticed about her was her eyes: they were the color of the bluest sky you had ever seen in your life. You remember thinking that they were practically piercing your soul, and when you found out that her name was Brittany S. Pierce, you giggled. Yes, Santana Lopez actually giggled. Right from the start, she had turned you into a sap, and the odd thing was, you didn't mind.

In reality, there were a lot of things that you did with Brittany that you didn't mind. Things that, if anyone else had suggested (like that hobbit, Berry) you would've rolled your eyes and delivered some of your most scathing remarks that had the tendency to leave damaging psychological scars. Things like feeding ducks at the park. For some reason, Brittany loved ducks and although you couldn't see the appeal in the fat waddling creatures, you would willingly get up at 8 in the morning just to accompany her to feed them. You'd leave most of the feeding to her, however, and you would be content just sitting on the grass with an adoring smile on your face, watching her coo softly to the birds while tossing them pieces of bread. Once, you even caught her talking in great lengths to one of them, and normally, this odd exchange would have earned the person one of your infamous what-the-actual-hell faces and then some, but because it was Brittany, you would have gladly joined in the conversation, just to see that smile spread across her face, knowing that you played a part in making it happen.

There were other things that you did with Brittany that felt different when done with others. The first time you kissed her, it was unlike any other kiss that you had shared with random boys in school. Whenever you kissed those boys, you intended to get something out of it. With Brittany, you knew in your head that it wasn't like that. The more times you kissed her, the more frequently that thought kept coming to your mind. It freaked you out so much that you pushed the feeling away and told her that you were only making out with her because you were like a lizard and that you needed something warm underneath you to digest your food (looking back, you wished you could've slapped yourself for making up such a ridiculous excuse). The first time you had sex with her, you knew that you didn't want to have it with anyone else because it just couldn't compare to what you had with Brittany. Sure, sex was just sex and sex was not dating but you found yourself secretly wishing that it was, and that frightened the hell out of you.

It took you awhile before you managed to admit to yourself that you were in love with her. You always had been. When you finally told her, she looked at you with those big cerulean blue eyes, and it was as if she had known all along. _It's better with feelings_ she told you once. And now you know that it's true, you wouldn't have it any other way.

 **A/N: the Glee timeline really confuses me sometimes, so this series of one-shots will probably jump around the various seasons. As you can tell from the title, this series is inspired by Taylor Swift's song "This Love" from her 1989 album, and each one-shot is titled after a line in the song.**

 **Actually writing something and publishing it is quite new to me; I've had ideas swimming in my head for a long time now, and I've recently decided to give writing it out a shot. So reviews would be appreciated.**


	2. Currents swept you out again

**Skies grew darker/**

Breaking up with her was the hardest thing that you had ever done. You reason with yourself every day after it happened that it had been the best thing to do; after all, she is in Lima, and you are in Louisville, and it had become nearly impossible for the both of you to keep in contact every day. You wanted to spare her the heartache of having to wait for you to get on Skype, only to fall asleep because your cheerleading practice had run overtime, or because you were drowning in assignments and could barely make it back to your room, much less find the time or energy to scissor-Skype. _She deserves so much better_ you tell yourself, as you toss and turn in bed, trying to put the image of a crying Brittany out of your mind. At first, you think you have it easier; school is getting increasingly busy and you always have something to do or somewhere to be. Thoughts of things other than Brittany occupy your mind and you don't know just how much you miss her till it hits you like a punch in the gut a month later.

When you get the call from Mr. Schue asking you if you could spare the time to come back to Ohio and play Rizzo in _Grease,_ you aren't very surprised. After all, who else in the Glee club had the talent to play Rizzo like you did? You tell yourself that you are only going back as a favor to those "Glee club losers" (as you fondly like to call them) but deep down, you know that there is only one reason that you would step foot into McKinley again.

You arrive at the school, nerves settling in the pit of your stomach. _Okay Santana, calm down. You've performed dozens of times, you've had kick-ass solos, this should be a piece of cake._ Calmly, you walk into the classroom where you are greeted by the members of the Glee club. Your heart starts to beat faster at the sight of Brittany seated in the back row. Your heart gives a sharp pang at the empty seat next to her, but before your brain can process it any further, Mr. Schue stands up and enthusiastically addresses the Glee club.

"Okay guys, we have the honor of having our very own Santana Lopez back to help us with the part of Rizzo!" He claps his hands together and gives the club his trademark "We can do this" face of encouragement.

"Well, I figured this role is as good as any to take on, and I had some time on my hands so why not." You say, shrugging your shoulders with feigned casualness, while your eyes remain fixed on Brittany. She is beaming from ear to ear, and you can feel a smile tugging on the corners of your lips and despite your best efforts, you let it break and spread over your face, and for the first time since you broke up with her, your heart starts to soar. The spell breaks abruptly when Teen Jesus (what's his name again? Jose? Josh?) asks if that was the only reason why you came back to Lima, and before you can shoot him down with some badass response, Brittany comes to your rescue.

"The important thing is that she is here, so the show can go on." She sys quickly, shooting you a look that said _I know you want to possibly hurt him with your vicious vicious words right now but don't. I got you._ Slightly mollified, you decide to let it slide and nod in agreement.

On the night of the show, you sit backstage, dabbing on your makeup for Rizzo's performance. You're not nervous about singing tonight, but your stomach is fluttering. As you take deep breaths in an attempt to calm yourself down, the source of your stomach's flutters appears behind you and wraps her hands around your shoulders.

"Hey, you." She says softly as she seats herself beside you.

"Hey, B." You murmur, a soft smile gracing your lips.

She cocks her head to the side and gazes at you for a few seconds. "I'm glad you're back, San." Here, she ducks her head and looks at you almost shyly. "I've missed you."

More flutters. You groan inwardly as the butterflies turn into freaking large moths flapping around your insides. "I've missed you too Britt-Britt." You take her hand in yours and give it a squeeze. "Honestly, you're the only reason I decided to take this role anyway." You admit.

Brittany nods her head and you know that she had already figured it out the moment you stepped into the classroom. "So…" she says slowly, "I'm not dating anyone now. Boy or girl." She adds quickly, her eyes searching your face for a reaction.

"I'd be fine if you were, Britt," you tell her, "but I'm glad you're not." You know that your eyes betray you by telling her so much more than you had let on, but somehow with Brittany, you never really needed a lot of words.

You gaze at each other, and you are almost tempted to lean in for a kiss, but before anything happens, Mike pokes his head around the corner.

"Santana, you're up in one."

"Thanks, Mike. I'll be out soon." He disappears and you're left alone with her again.

"Are you nervous?" she asks.

"Nah, this should be easy; it'll be like singing _America_ all over again."

Brittany looks at you ponderingly. " _America_ was happy though. This song is supposed to be really sad." She stands up to leave, but before she does, she bends down and gives you a hug. "You can think about us," she says quietly, "and how we aren't together anymore." She gives you a sad smile before whispering "Good luck, S" and walking away, her hand brushing against your back. You can feel your back burn from where her hand caressed it and you know that throughout the entire performance, all you would be thinking about would be her.

Three months later, when you come back again to Lima for Diva weekend, you're fuming on the inside because you had just found out that Brittany was now with Guppy Lips and although you weren't exactly angry with Brittany, you were hurt. You would never admit in a million years, but it stung to have found out from post-Goth Tina about her and Sam, and not from Brittany directly. You decide to hatch up an elaborate plan to bring a bevy of Louisville's finest cheerleaders with you and perform a song that Brittany would later on call "the best moment in show business history." You even pay one of your cheerleaders to pretend to be your girlfriend in a bid to make Brittany jealous, which seemed to work.

After your showdown with Sam, you find Brittany in the auditorium alone. You smile at her a little sheepishly, knowing that she had witnessed your little duel-duet earlier on. She looks at you with those bluer-than-blue eyes, nothing but honesty and love in them and says,

"I'm not gonna break up with Sam. I can't do that to him."

"Look, B. I know, and it's fine. I didn't come back expecting you to take me back or whatever, I just…wanted you to aim a little higher is all." You say nonchalantly, although your insides are twisting painfully. "Besides, I already have a girlfriend and she –"

"I know you paid Elaine to pretend to be your girlfriend." She interrupts you gently. "And I know that you dropped out of school."

You sigh inwardly, wondering for the billioneth time how Brittany manages to see through all of your bullshit. She notices the way your face subtly changes and reaches out and takes your hands in hers.

"Look," she says earnestly. "I think you need to leave Lima and go to someplace that's as big and amazing as you are. You deserve that. You should go to New York and live your dream of being on that show where they criticize people all the time and make them cry because of all the mean things they say."

You chuckle, despite yourself. "You mean American Idol?"

"Exactly!" She crows, laughing along with you. "But seriously," she continues again. "You're so talented, Santana. And Lima is way too small for you. I'm too –" here, she cuts herself off. You know what she wanted to say and you want so badly to tell her that she could never be too small for you, but you restrain yourself and wait for her to finish.

"You should find yourself a cool girlfriend too," she continues, "to go with a brand new city that you're going to. But not a best friend though, 'cause that part is already taken."

You squeeze her hands tightly, trying to convey to her all the things you knew you couldn't say at the moment. "You're my best friend Britt. And you really are a genius."

"Duh." Her tone is light, but her eyes have grown a little sadder, as if she knows what's going to happen next.

You lean forward and press a kiss against her lips before pulling her into a tight embrace. _I love you_ lingers on the tip of your tongue but you bite it back and hug her harder before letting go. You watch as she turns and walks away, every fiber in your being is screaming at you to run after all and never let her go, but you know that you need to do this, for her. For you. Just before she turns the corner, you see her turn her head, as if to look back at you, but she doesn't. And for the second time, you watch the love of your life walk out of it.


End file.
